they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
