u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
