you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
