oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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