i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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