My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
