I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
