Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
