So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
