I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
