Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So vagazzling was a success
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
