Screwed.edu
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Are we still banned from the library?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
