Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
