i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
