She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
there is glitter all over my balls
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
