the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
