Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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