Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
