Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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