...so i touched it.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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