I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
