I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
