I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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