This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
