Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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