My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
