the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
