Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
