we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
