we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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