hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You are a genius and a whore.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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