If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
