It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
