My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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