I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
