Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
