you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
