just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
