if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
