I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
