dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
