Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
