You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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