The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
