nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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