Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
nutella sex= disaster
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
