Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
