Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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