Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
