Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
