Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
