Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
