these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
pray to the hookup gods
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
