I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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