Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
