and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
