i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
