They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Alive.
So much puke
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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