I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
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