i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
