we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
