We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My vagina is very pro this idea
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