Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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