Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
false alarm. still invincible.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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